Scoop! Elders of Zion angry and uncertain 3

Because we keep a sharp eye on religious authorities of all stripes (okay, we spy on them), we got hold of an email (okay, it was leaked to us), from the EoZ to their man in Tehran, Sabourjian alias Ahmadinejad, of which we have decided to reveal this telling part:

You ********** ass! Why in the name of **** did you go and let the ******* cat out of the ******* bag prematurely? You were ordered to keep your Jewish identity secret until you’d ‘provoked’ the bombing of Iran by Israel. What a victory, what a crow we would have enjoyed! How completely we would have humiliated them! Now even the slow-witted mullahs will tumble to our scheme. Or maybe not. Try to stay in place, keep the hate-Jews-deny-Holocaust-annihilate-Israel talk going, and we may be lucky yet. But watch it. You’ve done your job well so far, the long slow climb to the top, the winning of the trust of the mullahs. We  were really proud of you. And now you go and blow the whole ********* thing with one stupid ******* gesture, holding up your ******* passport to the cameras of the world! What were you thinking? … Ah, well, carry on as long as you can, maybe raise the threat a few notches, bring forward the announcement that the nukes are ready …

While this episode immediately compels us to mark down the Cunning of the EoZ, which we had rated as A++, to B, and depending on developments maybe even lower, we wait to see if our mark for the mullahs’ Brains, currently D – , will need to be changed. If they let S aka A stay in place, down it goes. We’re watching.

Posted under Humor, Iran, jihad, satire, War by Jillian Becker on Sunday, October 4, 2009

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This post has 3 comments.

  • Alejandro

    I personally am a waiter, but I do lots of volunteer work on the side, mostly work in not-for-profit organizations like a local soup kitchen for the elderly, and helping charities that support underprivileged families.

    Academically, I do read a lot of books. I am a member of a book club and a political talk group.In this talk group, we discuss serious political issues of our contemporary world. I enjoy political discussions like those we have in our group and those I have on blogs like this.

  • Alejandro – are you in one of the intellectual professions? An academic maybe?

    We shouldn't ask you anything about yourself really. We're just curious. No offense taken if you choose not to reply.

  • Alejandro

    Although I am certain that this is satire, I still feel that one should not joke like this. Some people might actually take it seriously. Iran is a very sensitive international issue (many people have differing opinions than mine on this issue), and I think it's best not to joke about it.