Multi-layers of religious absurdity 12

This is from the Washington Post:

Nobel-laureate Holocaust survivor Elie Wiesel and a top official from the Simon Wiesenthal Center said Tuesday that Republican presidential candidate Mitt Romney should use his stature in the Mormon Church to block its members from posthumously baptizing Jewish victims of the Holocaust.

Their comments followed reports that Mormons had baptized the deceased parents of Wiesenthal, the late Holocaust survivor and Nazi-hunter. Wiesel appeared in a church database used to identify potential subjects of baptisms. …

Posthumous baptisms of non-Mormons are a regular practice in the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. Members believe the ritual creates the possibility for the deceased to enter their conception of Heaven.

Individual members can submit names, usually of deceased relatives, for proxy baptisms. The church has tried to improve its technology to block the process from including Jewish Holocaust victims. … [as it ] has long been offensive to Jews.

How is all this absurd?

Let us list the ways. They are too numerous to count.

  • The absurdity of worshipping “Jesus Christ”.
  • The stacks of absurdities in Mormonism.
  • The absurdity of baptism.
  • The extra-hilarious absurdity of baptizing the dead.
  • The extra-extra-absurdity of baptizing dead Jews.
  • The absurdity of Jews complaining to the Mormon church about dead Jews being baptized. Do they fear it will turn dead Jews into Mormons?
  • The absurdity of Mormons not getting their “technology” good enough to exclude Jews from their posthumous baptismal rites.
  • The absurdity of expecting Mitt Romney to bring that mysterious technology up to scratch.

And there are probably more that we’ve missed.

Ah, well! Bring on the figurative corpses. It’s all good clean fun at the virtual baptismal font.

Perhaps the Jews could get their revenge by posthumously circumcising dead Mormons.


  • The point of Ms Weasel’s (I’m sorry if I do not give her carte blanche because she is a Holocaust survivor, though I am completely sympathetic that she was) comments were dishonest In my opinion. I firmly believe she made this statement as a means of bringing the peculiarities of Romney’s religion to the fore as a “biasing mechanism” shortly before an election.
    Romney has no ability to affect internal Mormon matters, any more than the “Mormon Prophet” or “quorum of the twelve” have the ability to in any way affect Romney’s decisions as President of the United States.
    If one does not believe that these silly “baptisms for the dead” have any validity or effect, why should they or their relatives be offended or even give a rats ass that mormons are doing them. I could get the same list of names and perform voodoo rituals against them, or pray to Satan that they all get consigned to the lowest part of “Hell”.. Consider it free speech. Or maaaaayyyybbbbeeee, Ms Wiesel is afraid the baptism’s REALLY DO WORK and her soul will be snatched from her Jewish heaven, and planted in the Mormon “Terrestrial Kingdom” (where the non-believers who aren’t TOO BAD go).
    It is just another example of the arbitrary and political nature of the “nobel committees selections. They hold little credibility with me.

    • Jillian Becker

      Elie Wiesel is a man, Steve. A very famous survivor.
      But yes, of course he is talking nonsense. Baptism is nonsense. And why Jews should worry what Mormons do baffles me. Jews don’t even believe in baptism, don’t believe the ritual has any effect at all. And it’s not as if the Mormons were exhuming corpses – it’s all done with “proxies”. They’re demented, of course. A person has to be demented to believe in that sort of thing. But it’s quite good entertainment, good for a bit of a laugh – isn’t it?

      • ALMOST NO ONE saw that gaffe, I was ignorant of his existance before reading this. It is, of course, amusing. I find the idea of ritual magical Cannibalism to be demented… Catholics are ok with it of course. It may be because I was raised Mormon that all religions seem equally implausible, but he truth is that the will to suspend one’s disbelief is universal. Mormons aren’t so different from observant Jews, who arent so different from Catholics. And most especially, Liberals aren’t so different from Southern Baptists.;-)

      • It could be fun in a twisted, Goth sort of way if there were orgies mixed in with the ritual. Did you know women can be married to the dead also? I’m thinking “consummations” for the dead. If they did that, I might pretend to regain my faith… a lot of totally “hot” Mormon girls in Salt Lake…

        • liz

          There’s probably a long line for that job, Steve!
          Must have replaced polygamy. I never understood why any man would want more than one wife to nag him, anyway!

          • haha actually you just nailed a running joke in mormon culture. I would say that living in larger cities, and being more mobile, makes cheating a far more efficient solution for mormon men yearning for the occasional “Strange”. In Utah they drive to Wendover Nevada for personal transactions with professionals. Some do, most don’t… gotta be fair. I would be VERY suprised if Romney has ever strayed. He would stand to lose way too much. He is what he seems.

  • ohiochili

    So, why should what the Jews or the Mormons do or believe bother atheists? As an atheist myself, religion means nothing to me except that people have the right to believe and practice as they wish. I’m not going to get my panties in a wad over beliefs I do not care about nor matter one whit in the great scheme of things.

    • Jillian Becker

      What Jews and Mormons do does not bother us. We find the things we write about here funny. Didn’t you get that? It seems pretty obvious.

      But religions are not always so amusing. Islam is a dire threat to all of us.

      To tolerate intolerance is to cancel tolerance. If you believe in tolerance, you cannot tolerate Islam.

      By the way, what do you get your panties in a wad over?

      Well, let’s be friends. At least we have atheism in common.

  • Thanks for the laugh, Jillian! It’s the only appropriate response to religious absurdity.

  • Liz

    I can just imagine the scene when the soul of the baptized Jew meets with the Mormon god after enduring this insult!  Oy vey!

    • Ralph

      I haven’t hear “Oy vey” since I lived in a Jewish neighborhood in North Miami Beach in 1979.

      Thank you.

  • Bobk_1

    If Mitt Romney has any sense at all, he should distance himself from this issue as far as possible.