Drumming Akin out 3

There was a man lived on the moon

on the moon, on the moon.

There was a man lived on the moon

and his name was Akindrum.

And he played upon a lady,

a lady, a lady.

And he played upon a lady,

and his name was Akindrum.

So goes the grand old Scottish song. Or something like that.

Hum it as you read  this uproarious commentary on Todd Akin by Michael Walsh (and Charles Dickens). Akin is the Missouri Republican who announced that in instances of what he called “legitimate rape”  – whatever that might be – natural processes in women’s bodies reacted by blocking their ability to conceive. As a result of making up such a whopper on a highly emotive subject he is likely to lose his electoral race against a weak Democratic candidate for a Senate seat the Republican Party badly needs and had considered a sure win. The question is, will GOP leaders force Akin to stand down, or won’t they?

Here’s a sample:

So Todd Akin — against the urging of just about every Republican with an IQ higher than room temperature — has decided to stay in the race against the former sure loser, Sen. Claire McCaskill of Missouri. …

And yet all is not lost. Akin still has until Sept. 25 to do the right thing, or to be subjected to a little friendly persuasion and be replaced by a remarkably lifelike cardboard box, or even a live human being, should it come to that. And then the focus can be back on the ethically challenged McCaskill, where it rightfully belongs.

That’s something that only Romney can make happen, indirectly. Much more pressure can be brought to bear on the hapless Akin, including a discreet phone call from Mitch McConnell explaining that, in the unlikely event of an Akin victory, he will be heading up the new Senate Select Committee on KP and Latrine Duty in perpetuity, which will operate out of a subterranean broom closet at an undisclosed but dangerous location somewhere in Anacostia with a staff budget of approximately $2.47 per annum.

 

Posted under Humor by Jillian Becker on Wednesday, August 22, 2012

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This post has 3 comments.

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  • Frank

    From what I understand the deadline for him to withdraw and be replaced with another candidate has passed. The only hope Republicans have is to run someone else as a third party candidate.
    By the way, Akin has co-sponsored lots of anti-abortion legislation with Paul Ryan. Not good news for the Republican ticket to make this connection right before the convention.