Dirty laughter 4

Another Sunday, another cheerful laugh at religion.

From Evil Bible:

Top Ten Signs You’re a Fundamentalist Christian

10 – You vigorously deny the existence of thousands of gods claimed by other religions, but feel outraged when someone denies the existence of yours.

9 – You feel insulted and “dehumanized” when scientists say that people evolved from other life forms, but you have no problem with the Biblical claim that we were created from dirt.

– You laugh at polytheists, but you have no problem believing in a Triune God.

7 – Your face turns purple when you hear of the “atrocities” attributed to Allah, but you don’t even flinch when hearing about how God/Jehovah slaughtered all the babies of Egypt in “Exodus” and ordered the elimination of entire ethnic groups in “Joshua” including women and children, and trees!

6 – You laugh at Hindu beliefs that deify humans, and Greek claims about gods sleeping with women, but you have no problem believing that the Holy Spirit impregnated Mary, who then gave birth to a man-god who got killed, came back to life and then ascended into the sky.

5 – You are willing to spend your life looking for little loopholes in the scientifically established age of Earth (few billion years), but you find nothing wrong with believing dates recorded by Bronze Age tribesmen sitting in their tents and guessing that Earth is a few generations old.

4 – You believe that the entire population of this planet with the exception of those who share your beliefs — though excluding those in all rival sects – will spend Eternity in an infinite Hell of Suffering.  And yet consider your religion the most “tolerant” and “loving”.

3 – While modern science, history, geology, biology, and physics have failed to convince you otherwise, some idiot rolling around on the floor speaking in “tongues” may be all the evidence you need to “prove” Christianity.

2 – You define 0.01% as a “high success rate” when it comes to answered prayers.  You consider that to be evidence that prayer works.  And you think that the remaining 99.99% FAILURE was simply the will of God.

1 – You actually know a lot less than many atheists and agnostics do about the Bible, Christianity, and church history – but still call yourself a Christian.

Speaking of heaven and hell, how do Christians explain that souls in heaven are blissfully happy while other souls are in endless unrelenting torment in hell?

If they claim that the Saved feel Christian pity and compassion for the Damned, that would qualify the bliss, surely – bringing it well short of perfection.

So are the Saved Souls in an eternal state of Schadenfreude as they watch or imagine the Damned writhing in perpetual agony?

 

(Hat-tip for the link to Stephen Sterne)

Posted under Atheism, Christianity, Commentary, Religion general by Jillian Becker on Sunday, April 10, 2016

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This post has 4 comments.

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  • liz

    Yes, the fact that Christians can ignore all of these glaring inconsistencies between their beliefs and reality proves what faith is really about: the believer projecting what they want to be onto an image of “God”, and what they want to have onto an image of “heaven”. They don’t want to figure it out, they want to create their own “reality”.

  • Bruce

    According to Augustine, I think, they are indeed in a perpetual state of schadenfreude. Viewing the torment of the damned is supposed to be one of the joys experienced in heaven. Such nice people, these Christian fundies! They’re nothing more than less violent, more passive-aggressive Sharia-lovers.

    • Thanks, Bruce.

      Augustine yes, and others too, including Aquinas.

      “Aquinas … writes much on the Last Judgment and heaven and hell. … In the Summa Theologica, Aquinas systematically unfolds his rigid Scholastic formulae concerning the relationship of the saints in heaven to the wicked in hell: ‘Nothing should be denied the blessed that belongs to the perfection of their beatitude…Wherefore in order that the happiness of the saints may be more delightful to them and that they may render more copious thanks to God for it, they are allowed to see perfectly the sufferings of the damned.’ And also, more succinctly: ‘That the saints may enjoy their beatitude more thoroughly, and give more abundant thanks for it to God, a perfect sight of the punishment of the damned is granted them.'”

      https://www.rts.edu/sharedresources/documents/global/Student_Theses/Johnson-Seeing_Hell.pdf

      • Bruce

        Ah, yes. It’s this Aquinas quote that I was thinking of specifically. Couldn’t recall if it was him or Augustine. Aquinas was one sick sadist.