The United Islamic States of America 7

Obama is so outrageously wrong about everything, and the fact that he is president of the United States is so preposterous, that exasperation with him and all his works and all his sayings can only be endured if one can laugh at them.

Satire is the safety valve that lets off the steam of a politically captive nation.

Shamelessly we lift almost all of this Corrective to Popular Misunderstanding of American History from The People’s Cube, by “Komissar al-Blogunov”:

It’s a silly question to ask; of course we’re a Muslim nation with a deep Islamic tradition – it should be enough that Barack Obama says Islam built America. But, as everybody knows, the history books were written by Islamophobes. …

Let’s begin with the Muslim pilgrims on the Mayflower in 1620, who left England to seek religious freedom in the New World. On the way, they wrote the Mayflower Compact to institute Sharia Law in the Plymouth colony. The Mayflower Compact famously begins with, “In the Name of Allah, the Beneficent…” and then goes on to explain how they will expand the Caliphate.

In 1630, the great imam, John Hussein Winthrop, wrote “A Model of Muslim Charity,” a speech just peppered with quotes from the Qur’an. This is the speech from which we get the famous “Cordova on a Hill” metaphor, signifying what America stands for before the yet unconquered world.

Fast forward to 1639. Muslims settling along the Connecticut River wrote the Fundamental Orders of Connecticut, a document widely believed to be America’s first constitution. It clearly states in the opening paragraph that their purpose is to “enter into Combination and Confederation together, to maintain and preserve the liberty and purity of Islam as taught by the Prophet (peace be upon him) which we now profess, as also, the discipline of the Mosques, which according to the truth of the said Qur’an is now practiced amongst us…”

Further along in the Orders, it stated that a candidate for governor had to be “always a member of some approved Mosque.” There can hardly be any doubt that the founders of our colonies were devout Muslims.

I hardly need mention the Muslims who signed our Declaration of Independence in 1776, when we separated from British rule to form the North American Caliphate which would later have 57 to 61 states. How much clearer could Thomas Mohammed Jefferson have been when he concluded the document with “And for the support of this Declaration, with a firm Reliance on the Protection of Allah, the Most Merciful, we mutually pledge to each other our Lives, our Fortunes, and our sacred Honor.”

After the Revolution, we wrote the Constitution, which opens with “We, the subjects of the Caliphate…” What’s more, the first amendment to the Constitution clearly reads, “Congress shall make laws coercing compliance with Sharia, and prohibiting the free exercise of any of the religions of the infidels; and defining freedom of speech, and of the press; and the right of the people peaceably to assemble to burn private property in protests, and to accept whatever the Grand Mufti decrees for a redress of grievances.”

It even contains the interesting phrase: “done in Convention by the Unanimous Consent of the Sheiks present the Seventeenth Day of September in the Year of the Blessed Prophet (peace be upon him) one thousand one hundred and eighty seven and of the Independence of the United Sheiks of America the Twelfth…”

There is so much more, so when Barack Obama says we’re a Muslim nation, he’s only repeating what every other president in our nation’s history has already proclaimed: that Muslims indeed built the “very fabric of our nation.”

Isn’t it time we burned all the history texts and documents that have been corrupted by infidels?

Contact the Muslim Brotherhood’s Department of Education in Washington today and demand that they start teaching our children the truth about America’s Islamic roots and traditions.

Posted under Islam, Muslims, satire, United States by Jillian Becker on Friday, August 1, 2014

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This post has 7 comments.

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  • liz

    Yes, “preposterous” is the right word. The parody’s great – his lying is so overboard and the fact that he’s a Muslim sock puppet is so obvious, how can one not laugh at the absurdity of his pretenses?

    • Don L

      Now … “sock puppet” … THAT’S funny!!!

  • Don L

    Thanks for the try…I have lost my mind and my sense of humor!!! As a great comedian once said (?): Patience hell…I wanna kill something!

    It was amazing that the crowd always screaming we are a christian nation didn’t jump all over Nobama’s muslim claims. OK, maybe they did but the media didn’t let it through.
    Fun article…har, har. my a__!

    • REALBEING

      Good thought, Don. Try as I might, I just cannot bring myself to be jovial about our once great country becoming a shadow of it’s former self.

      This guy has taken the wind from my sails, along with a lot of other good Americans.

      May common sense again take hold in this once great land.

      • Don L

        Salute!

        Thank god you didn’t add an amen to that last line. LOL.

        • liz

          Hey I got that one! Had to think pretty hard for a minute, though.;)

          • Don L

            LOL!