Hah! And haha! 14

We take these from PowerLine because they please us:

 

 

Posted under Humor by Jillian Becker on Sunday, July 4, 2021

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Laughing at religion 21

One of our readers complained recently that everything we post is gloomy. He asked, couldn’t we post something to make readers smile?

We could.

Here’s Dave Allen:

 

Posted under Christianity, Humor by Jillian Becker on Monday, June 14, 2021

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By far the best oppression in the world 18

Bitter laugh for the day:

Posted under Humor by Jillian Becker on Thursday, May 13, 2021

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Joe the Feeble, Kamala the Kackler 67

Ammo Grrrll writes at PowerLine:

We are currently witnessing a vast horde of non-white people who are willing to throw their babies over a high fence and risk life and limb – just to get into what is routinely described by Democrats and Chinese Commies as the most racist hellhole on Planet Earth. Odd fact, that. People of color are racing to get into White Supremacy Central.

Even the Chinese get to call out our putative racism. The Uighurs have yet to weigh in, being too busy as professional organ donors, often before they were finished using the organs. …

We have Joe the Feeble, Terrible, Obviously Demented, Hair-Sniffing Cipher who is also a Pathological Liar, Influence-Peddler AND a wholly-owned subsidiary of China!

I don’t know if Kamala is also the first co-President (in the Biden-Harris Administration) to fail the Bar Exam or not. But who needs to ace a written exam when you’ve done so well on your Orals? And how excited was America to have her chosen with virtually no qualifications other than being a Woman of Some Vague Non-White Color, and the only woman in America with a worse laugh than Hillary’s?

Well, she garnered upwards of 2-3% of the votes in the DEMOCRAT Primary, so even other people of color clearly rejected her in favor of the demented old white time-server with the crack-head son. Democrats had the opportunity to vote for a rich fake Native American, a rich young man married to another man, a rich fake Mexican with a made-up Spanish nickname, just to name a few of the special kinda sorta Diverse folks that were on offer. And, instead, they stunned the world by picking Joe Biden, a rich old white kleptocrat.

During the Basement Campaign, Joe the Stair Master (and Blank Stare Master) came out like Punxsutawney Phil to nibble on his wife’s hand, to confuse her with his own sister, and to fail to guess the number of his own grandchildren. Hey, grandpas out there, I would bet the ranch (if I had a ranch) that there’s not ONE of you who can’t tell us the number, sex, and probably even the birthdays of each and every one of your grandkids. Not to mention their preferred pronouns! (When very young, it’s mostly just “me, my, and mine”.)

As we begin our eighth year together, let us fervently pray that Joe the Feeblest soon resigns to spend more time with those grandchildren until such time as he can accurately count them. No, Kamala the Kackler will not be any better, but maybe at least she might not try to start a war with Russia over the Ukraine. To the best of my knowledge, she doesn’t have any offspring who pretend to work for and are lavishly paid by any industries in the Ukraine.

And seeing President Kamala cackling away in the Oval Office would be like a dagger in Hillary’s heart. So there’s that…and she would obviously do such a terrible job that even cheating on a scale never seen before could not re-elect her in 2024.

We enjoyed this, but don’t agree with everything the delightful Ammo Grrrll says.

We fear that Kamala Harris will be an even worse figurehead president than Joe Biden. He manages to seem to be thinking. We don’t think she can do even that. She will only cackle and be an embarrassment to the nation.

Posted under Humor, United States by Jillian Becker on Monday, April 12, 2021

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How to be a racist 74

To answer letters from readers asking questions about race and racism, we engaged a woke Agony Parent’s Sibling of mixed genders.

Zir pen-name is DEI (derived from the Universal Motto of Virtue, “Diversity, Equity, Inclusion”).

Here are some of zir replies:

 

Dear Retired Firefighter,

So you believe you are not a racist?

You think that race is one of “the least important or interesting things” about people, and you “know” that the differences between individuals of every race are “far more numerous and significant” than the differences between races.

What you fail to understand is that those very notions make you a racist.

If you want to stop being a racist – and you really should – you must get it firmly into your head that race IS the most important thing about us all.

But first you must sincerely want to be cured of your wrong-think. If you do not, then you want to be a racist. In which case my message to you is – that’s what you ARE.

So you do not deserve to live.

Parent’s Sibling DEI

*

Dear Black Supremacist,

Of course the more melanin you have in your cells the more physically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually, socially, politically, and mystically superior you are. I can confirm that without even having to appeal to the Washington Post’s fact-checker.

If anybody says you’re wrong, they do not deserve to live.

Hail, hero!

Parent’s Sibling DEI

*

Dear History Corrector,

No, Africans never sold fellow Africans to white slavers.

No, there have never been white slaves of black or brown slave owners. There have never been any black or brown slave owners.

No, it was not a minority of southern white Americans who owned slaves. All white Americans owned slaves.

No, aid does not flow from white countries to black and brown countries. It only goes the other way.

If any white person or Uncle Tom argues with you about any of these facts, they do not deserve to live.

Parent’s Sibling DEI

*

Dear Peaceful iPhoner,

Yes, it is shocking the way whites have culturally appropriated whatever they have culturally appropriated.

Yes, owning a gun is your unalienable right.

Enjoy your riot in Portland next Saturday night.

Parent’s Sibling DEI

*

Dear White Penitent,

Apologies, though necessary, are not sufficient.

Whiteness is an unforgivable sin against humanity, democracy, Joe Biden and Harvard University.

Continue to live on your knees.

Parent’s Sibling DEI

Posted under Humor, satire by Jillian Becker on Monday, April 5, 2021

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Adopt a terrorist 127

A Canadian female liberal wrote a lot of letters to the Canadian government, complaining about the treatment of captive insurgents (terrorists) being held in Afghanistan National Correctional System facilities.

She demanded a response to her letter.

She received back the following reply:

National Defence Headquarters

M Gen George R. Pearkes Bldg., 15 NT

101 Colonel By Drive

Ottawa , ON K1A 0K2

Canada

Dear Concerned Citizen,

Thank you for your recent letter expressing your profound concern of treatment of the Taliban and Al Qaeda terrorists captured by Canadian Forces, who were subsequently transferred to the Afghanistan Government and are currently being held by Afghan officials in Afghanistan National Correctional System facilities.

Our administration takes these matters seriously and your opinions were heard loud and clear here in Ottawa. You will be pleased to learn, thanks to the concerns of citizens like yourself, we are creating a new department here at the Department of National Defence, to be called ‘Liberals Accept Responsibility for Killers’ program, or L.A.R.K. for short.

In accordance with the guidelines of this new program, we have decided, on a trial basis, to divert several terrorists and place them in homes of concerned citizens such as yourself, around the country, under those citizens personal care. Your personal detainee has been selected and is scheduled for transportation under heavily armed guard to your residence in Toronto next Monday.

Ali Mohammed Ahmed bin Mahmud is your detainee, and is to be cared for pursuant to the standards you personally demanded in your letter of complaint. You will be pleased to know that we will conduct weekly inspections to ensure that your standards of care for Ahmed are commensurate with your recommendations.

Although Ahmed is a sociopath and extremely violent, we hope that your sensitivity to what you described as his ‘attitudinal problem’ will help him overcome those character flaws. Perhaps you are correct in describing these problems as mere cultural differences. We understand that you plan to offer counselling and home schooling, however, we strongly recommend that you hire some assistant caretakers.

Please advise any Jewish friends, neighbours or relatives about your house guest, as he might get agitated or even violent, but we are sure you can reason with him. He is also expert at making a wide variety of explosive devices from common household products, so you may wish to keep those items locked up, unless in your opinion, this might offend him. Your adopted terrorist is extremely proficient in hand-to-hand combat and can extinguish human life with such simple items as a pencil or nail clippers. We advise that you do not ask him to demonstrate these skills either in your home or wherever you choose to take him while helping him adjust to life in our country.

Ahmed will not wish to interact with you or your daughters except sexually, since he views females as a form of property, thereby having no rights, including refusal of his sexual demands. This is a particularly sensitive subject for him.

You also should know that he has shown violent tendencies around women who fail to comply with the dress code that he will recommend as more appropriate attire. I’m sure you will come to enjoy the anonymity offered by the burka over time. Just remember that it is all part of ‘respecting his culture and religious beliefs’ as described in your letter.

You take good care of Ahmed and remember that we will try to have a counsellor available to help you over any difficulties you encounter while Ahmed is adjusting to Canadian culture.

Thanks again for your concern. We truly appreciate it when folks like you keep us informed of the proper way to do our job and care for our fellow man. Good luck and God bless you.

Cordially,

Gordon O’Connor

Minister

Posted under Canada, Humor, liberalism, Terrorism by Jillian Becker on Monday, September 7, 2020

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Superhero Trump 70

Crude it may be, but highly satisfying in its comic-strip style:

Posted under Humor, United States, Videos by Jillian Becker on Saturday, February 23, 2019

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Time for a laugh 19

The short career of Jesus the Magician:

Posted under Humor by Jillian Becker on Friday, July 28, 2017

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White man repenting 103

It’s hard to be satirical these days. Political realities outstrip satire with their absurdities.

But The Onion does it – perfectly:

Posted under Humor, satire, United States, Videos by Jillian Becker on Monday, May 8, 2017

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Learn to take offense 61

For fun on a Sunday –

nice satire by JP:

Posted under Humor, satire, Videos by Jillian Becker on Sunday, March 12, 2017

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