Desperately seeking 107

It seems that Joe Biden’s campaign is having difficulty finding a woman running mate who’ll enhance his chances of election to the presidency. He has committed himself to choosing a woman as his prospective Vice President, and although he did not say that the chosen would also be “of color”, the mood of the Democratic Party urges the search in that direction.

Someone must be found who will not just compensate for the nominee’s handicap of whiteness, but will be suitable to take over the presidency when the necessary calamity knocks Joe out of the Oval Office. The nature of the agonizingly regrettable calamity has not yet been decided, but whatever it is it must come soon after the inauguration. For although Joe is popular as a dear old familiar figure who has been seeing to his interests in the halls of power since the days of yore, and is therefore likely to be voted for by a lot of people who habitually vote Democrat, the power people know he cannot actually function as President of the United States because he is senile. I mean, look guys, we can’t let him have his finger anywhere near the nuclear button, can we? He might press it accidentally thinking it will deliver him a carton of coffee or a sandwich.

Okay. So a woman of color who could do the job is desperately being sought. Now how about … Kamala Harris?

Breitbart reports:

Campus Reform asked students this week how they feel about the rumor that Joe Biden has selected Senator Kamala Harris as his running mate. …

A typical student response was:

I know Kamala Harris has that history as a prosecutor… I don’t think the vice presidential nominee should have that kind of history.

Students generally argued that –

…  current and former law enforcement officials should not seek public office.

Because, one said –

I don’t think it’s the right time for law enforcement officers to solidify or expand their positions.

Right. Law enforcement is bad. Anyone who has had anything to do with it is out of consideration.

Which compels the realization that the ideal Democrat candidate for Vice-President/President is a criminal: a female criminal of color.

And there is one obvious name which should leap to the minds of the seekers.

Born JoAnne Deborah Byron in 1947, Assata Olugbala Shakur was a member of the Black Liberation Army (BLA). She has been on the FBI Most Wanted Terrorists list since 2013 as Joanne Deborah Chesimard. (She was married to a man named Louis Chesimard from 1967 to 1970 when they divorced.) Wikipedia provides an impressive list of the crimes her name is associated with. In 1973 she was charged with murder, attempted murder, armed robbery, bank robbery and kidnapping, and sentenced to life imprisonment for the murder of State Trooper Werner Foerster. She escaped from prison in 1979 and sought asylum in Cuba, where she still lives.

Attempts at extraditing her have failed, but we reckon she would not refuse an invitation to become President of the United States.

Assata Olugbala Shakur